I Am A Citizen

I attempted to add pictures to this entry but I could not. I could not attach my actual figure it was to vulnerable, so here are a few words exposing myself.

I looked in the mirror this morning and nothing seemed like myself.

My hands were sore my feet were swollen, my back and spirit were exhausted. I got dressed for the occasion.

I wore black. Intentional only to the most sincere of emotions. Arriving at the end on one life to start another.

I looked at myself in the mirror and I was not myself.

I put on the earrings that my grandfather had given me at age 10. Round small golden hoops adornment of token of his love for me, his only blood granddaughter.

I looked in the mirror I was not myself.

I gathered my tangles of hair and wrapped them to the back of my head with pins. Attempting to tame the many strands. My dark hair rebelling in the early morning.

I looked in the mirror I was not myself.

I gathered my documents and my strength and attempted to find a purse. I have not used a purse in a year. I have become simplistic with what I carry, that my arms be occupied with little coats toys or hands.

I looked in the mirror I was not myself.

I saw my reflection walk down the hall and I realized I was not myself.

I was my mother. As uncomfortable and nervous as she was exactly a year ago. I couldn't hold back the tears that were pouring out of my eyes. This was her. Gathering her emotions into packages, hoping it would be enough.

I waited in the room of teal cushioned chairs.

The events that followed took all day. They seem to be descriptive only by emotion.

In the end, I did this for my daughters. I did it that they make take on civil responsibility. That they may see the sacrifice within their mother the division of spirit and realize the power behind action.

Girls I expect you to live with intent. I expect you my sweet loves to take upon yourself the responsibility granted to you from the blood that flows through your veins as chosen warriors may you always see your path, and I will live my life to facilitate it.

Today a dear friend wrote to me,

Congratulations to Ms. Georgina Coca. You can say it now, girl.

You're a citizen. America, you just got funnier, smarter and you can

dance better, too!!!

Thank you my lovely friend.

And thank you all that made this transition an act of love and acceptance with action and beautiful gifts.